"THAT'S NOT FAIR." My daughter shouted at me.
"Life's is not fair." I said back.
This is the only good lesson my parents taught me, and it is a lesson I want to teach my daughters. The funny thing about life not being fair is, the sooner you learn that life is not fair, the easier life will be. People sit and lament about their perceived misfortune and everyone else's good luck. I've got some news for you Jack, sitting on your ass telling everyone else how unlucky you are will not make your life better.
I unfortunately I was too old when I really took this lesson to heart. You may say, "Why do you need to learn this lesson early in life?" Children are precious and if you make them deal with the realities of life to early you will break their little spirits."
To this I say Bulls**t. Let me give you an example. By show of hands, who had a girl in their class fail a test, and then go cry to the teacher until they got an A. O.k. everyone put your hands down. Everyone hated this girl. What a complete utter and total PITA (pain in the ass) she was. You studied, and you worked hard, and you got a good grade on your own, or you didn't and you got a bad grade on your own.
No one likes the little girl who cried to get a grade, and deep down no one wants their child to be that girl. Do you remember her excuses, "The questions were not fair?" "I really meant to answer A not C." "My parents will kill me if I do not get an A." "This will ruin my 4.0 average." And my favorite, "If I don't get an A I won't be valedictorian, and I wont be able to speak at graduation."
Now I ask you, wouldn't we all have been better off if she had not have gotten that A. I mean had she not been valedictorian I would not have been forced to sit through one more speech that I do not remember or care about. There's twenty minutes of my life I will never get back.
"Bitter, party of one!"
So why am I bringing this up now you ask? Well because my daughter started basketball this year and I started to think about all of the activities I quit instead of working harder.
First there was gymnastics. I took this from about 4 years old until 6 years old. I was pretty good. I was agile and strong and I could do most of what the coach asked. I quit because I thought the coach was a creep (he was), also we had to wear make-up at the recital and I did not ever want to do that again. My parents let me quit.
Second, there was swimming. I swam on a swim team from pre-K through second grade. Why did I quit? Well, because by second grade I was big, and when I went to try on that speedo and looked in the mirror all I could think of were those fat foreign guys in the Banana Hammocks on the beach in Florida, and I never wanted to see that again. My parents let me quit.
Third, there was soccer. All of that running, back and forth, who needs it. My parents let me quit.
Fourh, there was tae kwon do. I was good at this one, I tested from one belt to the next and I made it to orange belt quickly. It was tough and I worked hard, but as it got more difficult, I found that I did not want to put the time in. Also my uniform came open a lot, and I found myself trying to cover my baby man boobs most of the time.
Fifth, there was baseball. Tight polyester uniforms in the heat, nuff said.
I do have one thing to say here. You might want to explain the rules to your kids before you send them out on the field otherwise they may try to overrun every base like it is first base and then they will get tagged out like some sort of moron. Just throwing that out as a cautionary tale.
Then there was football, rugby, track, tennis, etc.
Like I said I learned my lesson too late. I quit every time I thought something was getting to hard our was not fair.
Kids need to learn how to lose so that they can learn to work harder. Deep down we all know that working harder will make life easier. So I have come up with a few things to help teach your children to work harder.
1. Turn the scoreboard back on. I don't care that your kids team is losing 50 points to 10. Your kids know they are losing and turning off the scoreboard off will not make them less of a loser. Also how will the other team know that they won. Arn't you taking away their accomplishment?
2. Give back the participation trophy. You do not get anything in this world for just showing up. We need to help them learn to work hard to get what they want. By the way you are the one who should get the trophy. You got them dressed and there on time every night or weekend. Where's your trophy.
3. Let them play. Your child out on the field or in the classroom is not some opportunity for you to re-live your glory days, or live through them the life you wished you had. They are there to learn how to compete and work hard and accomplish something. Don't take that away from them by screaming at them from the stands or by calling the coach or referee an idiot (like my wife). This is their time. Support them, teach them, practice with them, but don't just let them quit because they decide they do not want to work hard.
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