I was five and it was a nice day in kindergarten. It was one of my classmates birthday, and their parents were nice enough to bring popsicles. These days if you want to bring a treat to your child's school, you need an act of congress, a certified note from a lab telling the school board that the food is not contaminated, and prove that the treats are gluten free, trans-fat free, free of any dyes or banned colors, are organic, free trade, made in the USA, are halal and kosher, and provide documentation that none of the food was made on or near equipment that manufactured peanuts or tree nuts. And do not forget that the package needs to remain hermetically sealed until the moment the food will be served to the students.
Anyway...The teacher started to pass out the popsicles, and I said no. Why you ask? Well I will tell you. I was on a diet. Having the teacher I had for kindergarten (she was a cross between Mary Poppins and Gloria Steinem), she marched me down to the principal's office where I called my mother to ask permission to have a popsicle. She said yes.
Just to put this into perspective for you, my parents putting me on a diet, is like letting Lindsey Lohan give you tips on rehab. My wife says that may parents were just were not equipped to give that kind of advice, that people at that time did not know as much about nutrition as we do now, and that they were just doing their best. As I said before she wears the cutest pair of rose colored glasses I have ever seen.
I think that everyone has the basics down. If you give a child a fish he will eat once. If you teach him to fish he will feed himself for a lifetime, and if you teach a child how to batter and fry that fish and serve it with fries and tatar sauce he will be 300 lbs. by graduation.
So what that my parents did not know about nutrition, so what they ate like crap, so what if I knew how to ask for McDonald's by name by the time I was one, and so what if I had to shop in the men's section of the store by the time I was 8, no no, no husky jeans for this boy. I was advanced I went straight to the mens section. It is not that they were not equipped, it is that they were just not looking. They did not see the signs, and they were just repeating the cycle.
I started writing our children's book because my wife thought it would be a good idea. We had been baking with our older daughter, and she just hammed it up on camera. The recipe that she was making that day was not just any recipe, but one we had created just for her. When she was 4 my wife was forced to take her to the E.R. on two separate occasions. She was screaming in pain that her stomach hurt. It turns out she was severely constipated. So we tried the medicines, and the fiber supplements, but we got the best results when we changed her diet. No this is not some testimonial and I am not going to be selling anything later so just follow me here.
We started by changing the everyday recipes we were already making and then we added new ones to add more fiber and vegetables to her diet. I have to admit looking back, I feel really bad for her because the stuff we made was horrible. The pancakes tasted like cardboard, the pasta was grainy, the boxed mac and cheese tasted like vomit, and she ate it all and never complained once. Being a chef I began to improve the recipes and make them more palatable, and soon enough we all ate the food. So the recipe that my wife made with my daughter that day was the cupcake recipe that we created for her, and if I do say so myself they are good.
My wife took her inspiration for the book from the cooking video, and began by writing down a few sentences and ideas she had for the book. She then gave the notes to me and said, "Here finish this, and make it entertaining, and funny." I obliged.
This week we sent the book to the illustrator. I hope that it will be finished within the next few months and I will let you know how it is going as I learn more.
We put the special cupcake recipe in the book and I hope you all will buy a copy when it comes out (Oh yes I said I was not going to try to sell you anything. Sorry I might have lied just a little.).
So my advice this week is as follows.
1. Try to be a good example. None of us are perfect, least of all not me, but teaching your child how to eat the fat and skin off of a freshly baked turkey is definitely not being a good roll model.
2. If your child is intolerant or allergic, this is your problem. For example if you go to a restaurant it is not the servers responsibility to ask if your precious little one is allergic to something. Look no one wants to clean up your child's puke or call an ambulance for you, so be the responsible one and ask before you order something. To be honest your server probably does not have children and would never think to ask about an allergy. Their biggest concern is whether or not they will make enough tips during their shift to go out and drink when they are done.
3. Look up every once in a while. We are all busy, but every once in a while you should take a good long look at your kids. Don't wait until conferences, or school pictures, or the big game. Just look up from your computer, or phone, or the t.v. and just look at them. And for the love of G-d just stop texting for a minute and talk with them. Are they listening to you? Are they becoming the people you want them to be? At times I have theses little attacks and I think, what do they eat now, or how much medicine do they take, or what is their teachers name, or how old are they now? I am not an absentee parent I just need to look up a little more myself.
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